Thinking Forward, It's What I Should Have Done

Thinking forward; forward thinking. It's all the same. It all comes down to the pure and simple fact that hindsight is 20/20. It also comes down to the fact that life doesn't have a rewind button. I wish it did. I'd rewind and do things differently, just to see how things would work out. That would be interesting.

Change is Good, But I Can't Let Go

This is it. My last night in Reynold's 202. Strange to think I've lived in the same place for an entire year. Usually college students don't have this kind of stability. But tomorrow, I'm off to a new place, where I will stay for only a matter of months before moving again. And I have SO MUCH stuff to move! I'm just one person! How did one person manage to collect so much?! I can't imagine what it would be like to be married and have stuff to move around. Actually, I have a hard time imagining being married at all, or even seriously committed to someone (alas, another blog for another time). Back to the original topic.

This is the last night I'll lie here and swear silently at the crickets outside my window. The last time I'll have a decent view out my bedroom window (new place=basement apartment=view of an alley). The last time I'll look at these four walls in the dark. Okay, now I sound like an emo kid who's being sent to sleep-a-way camp for the summer. In any case, things will never be like they are now, or as they have been. Change is the way of the future. But right now, all I want to do is a little wallowing.

Disclaimer: I'm not usually all moody like these last few posts have been. I've just had a lot of change and a lot of thoughts in a very small amount of time. I'm sorting through, and I'll be fine. Please bear with me.

Indulge Me

I'm in a melancholy mood today. I have to leave my wonderful apartment in a matter of days, and I'm trying not to think about it. It's such a nice apartment, compared to where I've been and where I'm going. Since living here, I've met some amazing people who I hope stay in my life, I've strengthened already amazing friendships, and I know I have people in my life for the rest of eternity. Some of my favourite memories in this ol' house are:

-having "hot mailbox boy" turn into a really good friend.
-late night chats with Steven about everything, but mostly dating and marriage.
-Monday Night Hills Night!
-Thursday night Office parties.
-eating whatever Tanner makes.
-finding Fort BALL
-too many excellent inside quotes and jokes (which I will blog at a later time)
- the Disney wall
- sleeping with Breanne
- eating with Breanne
- driving with Breanne
- lounging around with Lauren
- eating with Lauren
- swimming with Lauren
- dance parties with Lizzard
- sneaking around with Lizzard
- running up and down the path with Lizzard
- driving with Steven
- late night discussions with Steven
- late night driving while having discussions with Steven
- riding in shopping carts
- lunch at the CANC
- and a million more little memories, that added up into one of the most incredible years of my life.

Maybe it's a good thing school starts soon....

My thoughts have been so scattered lately. I'm pretty sure I'm turning into a crazy creative genius. It's like in Spiderman, when Peter Parker (SO CUTE in a nerdy kind of way, btw) transforms after getting bitten by the radio-active-genetically-mutated-hybrid spider. One day I'll wake up and I'll have strange clothes, live in a small cabin in the woods and talk to my flowers or something. Or maybe I'm just going crazy now.... As long as I don't develop a desire to stick my head in an oven, or fill my pockets with rocks and go for a walk in the river, I think I'll be okay.

21 Baby!!

I wrote something in my journal 3 years ago today when I turned 18 about how I was growing up and leaving immaturity and adolescence behind. Well, in a matter of hours, I will be 21. I will be officially an adult in just about every way. I will officially be a grown-up. I remember when I was little, and how people this age seemed so OLD and there was no way that I'd get like that! Well, here I am, living proof that time stops for no man, er, woman.

Up until this point my life has been fantastic. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. Sure it's been difficult, and there have been moments that I didn't enjoy at all (junior high.....). But I can honestly say that I love my life, and that I have no regrets. I know that I've done things the hard way, and if I'd paid better attention to what God wanted me to do in the first place, I would have had a lot less pain and heartache. But everything I've done, I've learned from, and I am so grateful for that blessing in my life.

Well, I only have a few more hours of justified immaturity left. I'm going to make the most of them!

Just Because

Reasons why life is awesome right now:

1. It's still summer!! The weather is gorgeous, and not quite as hot as it has been the past few months.

2. I found a place to live! I know longer have to stress about being homeless.

3. I got my first email from someone on the TMA faculty. Granted, it was to tell me that there's like 50 things I need to get (which equals dollars that I don't have), but it was exciting all the same.

4. Friends are going to start moving back to Provo!!! Freshman year friends, Breanne, and friends from just a few months ago are all coming back, and I'm excited to see them all and catch up with them.

5. Classes start in a few weeks! I canNOT wait to start classes geared towards my major.

Life is good, my friends. Life is good.

Homeless no Longer!

I have an apartment!!! Now, it's not as new as where I'm at now, and the curtains aren't any good. But I've got a place, so I won't be homeless in three weeks. It's only a few blocks from campus, it's cheaper than where I live now, and it's still a private room. The only downside is that it doesn't have it's own washer and dryer. I've come to really love that. But I'll figure something out. I'm just so excited to have a place! Did I mention that the bedroom is larger there than it is here? Cause it is.

In other news, life is complicated, and sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball and I could see the future. That is all.

Fam Bam!

Ethan, Me, Logan, at the almost top of a mountain.

Cousins! For the first time, there are more non-siblings than siblings, regarding my immediate family. (Did that make sense?)

Rachel and me. <3 her!

<3 him, too.

Dock jumping. My new favourite thing!

Probably my favourite picture of me and my siblings EVER.